My Darling British Airways

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder is a lyric to be taken seriously. I may not recollect the origin of this fine tune but I believe it summarizes the epitome of man or woman. It is a warning; it is an advice. It is a guide of a lifetime. It is an instruction – of paying attention to details. One who fails to heed the advice of the old women, does it at own peril.

That’s exactly what comes to my mind as Nigerians on a daily basis call for a total boycott of the British Airways. They argue that this marvellous airline disrespects its passengers, most especially Nigerians and Africans in general. The originators of this boycott want to teach this one and only airline a lesson. They want to show the world that their people must be respected. They must protest against foreign injustice. They are right and they have every right. Whilst I respect their opinions, I’m not ready to divorce my BA.

Nigerians all over the world could not understand why a British Airways captain ordered 136 passengers (Nigerians) off his plane in chaotic scenes after they all started complaining to cabin crew. All 136 Nigerian who boarded the British Airways flight BA75 on the 27 of March 2008 at about 12:30pm were reported to be distressed by the pitiful cries of “I go die” from a man being forcefully deported. Ayodeji Omotade, 39, was singled out. He was arrested by five officers, an action that further outraged the other 135 passengers (read full story here). The British Airways in its response said that it was to “ensure the safety of our passengers, aircraft and crews”. (read BA response here)

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Even if Nigerians do not know why it happened, I believe their “leaders” know. The British Police, the management and crew of the airline also know why they treated 136 Nigerian passengers in such manner. Of course such incident was not the first and it won’t be the last. To Oyinbo people, it’s normal and justified to treat Nigerians anyhow. After all, their “leaders” treat them the same if not worse and they seem to be enjoying it. So why should they be enraged by ordinary lack of courtesy when in fact they are a people with history of mental and physical brutalization by their government!

This has reinforced my belief that Nigerians are a people with a scene of usual beauty. While some are fighting vigorously to make sure the BA is punished, others are using the incident to advance their own interests. Anyway, the Osamuyiwa Aikpitanhi’s case had opened my eyes. Look at those who pretended to be fighting Osamuyiwa’s case. Where are they now? Ask yourself why most of them are missing in this BA case. It’s because they have already gotten what they wanted. Smart fellows in deed! Are we a people who profess beliefs and opinions that we do not hold? Most of those in the forefront of this boycott may as well be those who couldn’t do without the British Airways.

Perhaps those calling for the boycott do not know what they are doing to me. They want to put asunder to what God has joined together. The British Airways is my darling and nobody can separate us. I cannot live without my darling whom I fell in love with, before and even after I knew about her incorrigible character. It’s the BA that had helped transport my forefathers to the world of slavery in which I still embrace till today. What can I possibly do without my darling BA that has sustained my livelihood; taking me to its land where I must work like a donkey in order to have enough pounds to oppress my people back home?

I love my BA and there’s no other way to say it. Even if they chain or gag me, I shall patronize my BA. I love the way it serves my favourite rice and dodo, amala and gari with egusi soup. I like the way it serves my favourite Nigerian newspapers and magazines whenever I travel. I may be exaggerating, but where else should I turn to? Is it Alitalia or Lufthansa or Air France or Egypt Air or Turkish Air or Delta Airlines or American Air? They want me to disown my BA when their president is currently romancing with a German hospital. They want me to renounce my BA when their “leaders” prefer to die inside it. Ah, this is another trick to oppress me further and I resent it.

Oh, it’s a thing of joy to always see Oyinbo serving me after they have exhausted my thinking faculty in their land. Only the BA actually knows how to remind me of who I am – third class citizen. And that is why I shall continue to support my BA. The captain and crew members are damn honest. Even if they call me a person of low mentality who could not compel his government to establish a common airline, I shall laugh it off. I shall laugh it off because I know their assertion is nothing but the truth. I shall laugh it off because I know I lack the courage to confront my government to provide me with alternative airline of our own.

I simply cannot divorce my BA. First, it’s against the teaching of the holy books. Second, it has taught me many useful things about the nature of human beings. For instance, that no one would respect you until you respect yourself. That the master shall be master and the slave shall be slave unless the slave is ready to fight – for genuine freedom. Because of pretty BA, I have discovered that my own government who is supposed to protect me is actually exploiting me through the same BA. Otherwise what prevents us from flying on our own airline? Perhaps I’m mixing things up; perhaps I’m making mountain out of the molehills; perhaps I’m confused.

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I believe there should be priority instead of telling me to make an ass of myself; instead of asking me to break my profound relationship with my childhood love. This BA is my life, and I consider it a joke to put asunder to what God has joined together. It’s impossible for I am tied to the BA’s apron like a baby to her mother’s breast. I’m damned but I’m addicted. The British Airways is my first love and shall remain so until eternity.

My darling British Airways, it’s you come rain or sunshine, even hunger. I am not the one to forget all that you’ve done for me. Ha, you have generously linked me to the world of business and adventure. You have succeeded in teaching me to hate my type. You have made me the centre of all eyes; the envy of my neighbours. Those calling for our break up do not know the extent of our bond. They do not know that my shameless family had greedily accepted heavy dowry that would forever make me a slave – oh, I mean darling. Thanks for taking care of me despite.

 

By Hakeem Babalola

Copyright 2008 mysmallvoice@yahoo.com